Feeling The Same As I Did Yesterday...
...Feeling the same as I might do tomorrow...
I heard these lyrics on a song today, at work, and it was like I was the center of a movie for a few minutes, just because it reflected how I felt so well. No, I take it back, it was how I felt. These lyrics were the perfect lyricification of my inner thoughts and feelings.
I seem to have slipped into the cycle of life, with days blending into one another, and nothing memorable happening to differentiate....well, anything anymore. Or maybe my mind has just rotted to the point that nothing can stick anymore, all of the significant memories have no cohesion and simply slide through my thoughts and into the ether, lost for good in the ebbing tide that is my consciousness.
I feel it every morning now. I wake up at around 6:30, half an hour before my alarms even go off, and stare at the clock, knowing that the routine will have to begin soon, to get up, dress, eat, shower, dress for work, go to work, pretend to work until I feel like working, come home for lunch, go back to work, try and make myself work, but ultimately get distracted and give up, come home, waste away my time, then sleep. Sure there's more to it than that, but not much. And now, with so much work at the weekends, I can't even pray for the sweet release of rest 2 days per week.
I think that's the biggest problem. With a Monday to Friday job, you have hope that the weekend will bring change, rest, partying, whatever it is you don't get in the week. But with little to look forward to, the weeks seem like a null space, nothing at either end.
It wouldn't help that I'm seeing less of my friends all the time. With spending my time on a few different people, I'm letting go of some of the others. Maybe its just a new feeling, of being a socialite, but the connections seem to be wearing thinner and thinner all the time.
Or maybe I'm just being overly dramatic.
posted by Mason Bentley at 12:09 AM
1 Comments:
"And then there was one"... Or was there?...
Somewhere between the great times, the full times, the hard times and the ones we can’t describe for lack of adequate recollection… Amid the friendships, old and new, the relationships, the memories and the daydreams just beyond our conscious grasp… Somewhere in that whirlwind which quite possibly encompassed the best times of our lives, we lost ourselves. And we liked it.
Then one morning, like a slap in the face, the harsh reality hit you via the third or fourth extremely annoying outburst of a sounding alarm clock. And you came to the inevitable realization, that this isn’t quite the surreal lifestyle you held so dear in the past months. Before your very eyes, days had turned to weeks, had turned to months in some twisted, homogenous mass of time where routine, once a habbit we strived for, had become the enemy.
Well guess what… You aren’t alone. While the feelings, so accurately described by a few diligently written lyrics, make it seem as though an artist composed a song for you alone, the truth is: we’re all there.
But instead of allowing the blur of days to pass without meaning, we can cease each block as a unit of time and space for which we, alone, are responsible. Sure, the entire picture may appear dull, but there are more opportunities than meet the untrained eye. And it’s our ability to seize them, that earns us the full value of our youth. … And in retrospect, somewhere, there are individuals worse-off than us…
Wait for it.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
Maybe it’s just not dark enough yet...
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