My faded shirt...

[EDITED] At the beginning of the year I bought a shirt. A red shirt, a beautiful cut, very stylish, and a really excellent fit. I wore this shirt to work and washed it and wore it again. And now it's the end of the summer.

Now, as I look down at my arms, I can't help but think that the shirt has now faded. As i gaze at the soft crinkled fabric, the deep maroon appears to have softened to a dirty, brownish red, and the vibrant trim has dulled to just a plain red line. My once bold and powerful shirt has mellowed with time. It has become bland, worn thin by the long summer days and scorching heat.

And as I gently rub my fingers across the fabric, I can't help but think that it too has softened, worn down through repeated and repetitive use. The once stiff cuff now hangs limp from my wrist, and the formerly sharp lines of the seams now flow into a non-descript figure. Even the delicate wrinkles that once made this a modern and stylish shirt now seem to serve no purpose, making the shirt seem messy and unkempt. There is no longer the beauty and charm that it once possessed. Now my shirt just hangs as another shirt in the wardrobe, unable to distinguish itself from the others.

The sharp lines, the bold colours, the distinct look...all now gone, replaced by a tired, haggared rag, worn by time and battered by the harsh machine.

Hopefully the shirt on my back will brighten again soon.

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I like this post. It's the first in a while that a) I've finished in one shot, and b) I've felt good about. It seems to flow well. It reminds me of some of my older posts. This is good. Having said, it may just be the result of an abundance of ideas. You may have noticed that this is my 3rd post in 2 days. Looks like I've been given something to think about again.

Fogotten Freinds...

To forget a friend. Not the person themselves. That's near impossible, especially for a good friend. But the person. The person inside, the character, the essence of being, the personality. This sounds like quite a feat, but it really is easier than you would think, as tonight I found out. It was honestly a shock to me that I had quiet forgotten the elements of a person that made them so endearing to me. Not only was it a shock (though a pleasant one, I'll admit) to rediscover a friend, it was also a shock that this was possible in the first place. Do we only remember the basics of a person, and not the truly important features, even if they are particuarly prominant.

I spent this evening with a friend whom I have all but neglected for the past few months. We used to be very close but drifted apart when we both returned home for the summer (ironically, since we live in the same town all summer, but had been closer when separated by hundereds of miles). As we were talking, I remembered her quirky personality and off the wall sense of humour that was quite such a major part of who she is. How could I forget this? I could I manage to forget the little interactions that we had, the moments that we had shared?

I can only hope that I remember this for next time, so that I don't neglect her again. At least I have it written down this time, so I can always remind myself of how amazing of a person she is.

Enter Routine...

Well, it's tuesday again already, and if history is anything to go by, that means I should be blogging again. I don't know why I so often write on a tuesday or wednesday. I guess I just happen to have some time on these days, which seems to be in ever decreasing supply, but then, isn't everyones? Isn't it?

Do you ever feel like you just don't have enough time in the day? That there just aren't enough hours to cram your life into it. I guess we only feel like this when we already haven't had enough time, not when we're looking forward to when we won't have enough time. I mean, on paper, there's always enough time to do everything you need to without compromise. But that's only when everything goes to plan, which it rarely does. Unexpected events crop up, events take longer than scheduled, and those little things like getting there or eating or catching a 5 minute break creep into your time.

But do you ever feel like you just don't have enough time to care. It's a sad, sad feeling. Sometimes, I really want to do something, or worse, speak to someone, but I just don't feel as if I have the time to spare. It's often just before I plan to go to bed, and I see someone online or think about them, and it occurs to me that I really want to talk to them. But then I know I don't have the time, and I have to let them slide. This isn't a monotonous task people, this is someone, a soul, a human, a consciousness. How can you cast a person aside? And the real tragedy; they have no idea. They have no idea that you want them to hear you, and they just let it pass as another forgotten freind.

But on the flip side, do you ever feel like you're doing something just for another person. Don't get me wrong, I'm as selfish as the next guy. But sometimes, just sometimes, I get the impression that I'm only doing something because it might please someone else. This sounds horribly conceted, but sometimes I just step back from a situation and ask myself why I'm there. And I honestly can't give an honest answer. The only possible reason would be to make someone else happy. Now, this is fair enough when it's someone you care about, or for a cause dear to your heart...but sometimes.....there is no reason, so why do I even make the effort? It just becomes another run through the motions. Do this, do that, speak to this person, see that one. The continuation of pattern seems the only semblance of reason to proceed, to repeat the actions of weeks gone by.

Maybe it's time to change which day I blog.

American Idiots...?

Green Days new single only manages to further their own point.

[Unedited]

By now I'm sure you've all heard the return to the punk-rock-alt-esq forum by Green Day, "American Idiot" floating across your nations airwaves. With the first new material coming from the trio since 2000s "Warning", Green Day brings back their familiar antics that managed to make them so popular throughout the 90's. From what we've all heard so far, the new material looks to be classic Green Day, with the same driving guitar, rocking drums and off-kilter lyrics as ever.

But with the debut single, Green Day take leaps into a whole new arena: Politics.

It now seems that expressing your angst against the current state of America and its politics is the popular thing to do, especially in the world of rock and punk music. And, following suit, Green Day enter in, though isn't it a little late? It seems to me that Green Day are just throwing in their 2 cents, almost as if to say "We're popular too, look at us".

Furthering the point, the are taking the non-traditional route of screaming the bands opinions loud and clear. Traditionally, such artists have used metaphor and imagery as techniques to convey their points without being too obvious, almost like an inside joke. Almost like the fan's of the band get it while the suits up on capital hill don't get why everyone's laughing at them. But Green Day are just throwing their thoughts in your face without giving anyone a chance to interpret it, like a kid who opens his mouth before he thought about what he said. Just take a look at the following verse taken from the song:

Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

There is, in my most honest of opinions, very little room for any debate of what lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong is trying to get at. So you don't like the state of your country, and you wrote a song about it. Congratulations. But what effect is this actually having on anything. Wouldn't some kind of political activism, a la OK Go or Bad Religion be a way more effective method of getting your message across? So does this just make Green Day the titular American Idiot's for being just another member of the "nation controlled by the media" (as lifted once again from the new single) by so faithfully following the path set by the bands, by pop-culture and (dare I say it?) the media?

But of course, this song, with it's catchy lyrics and "I'm political too" lyrics will rise up the charts and be played across the continent for weeks to come, while bands who are sending a deeper message are relegated to the stacks, never to see more than a few minutes of air time, if that. In fact, the song will precisely prove its own point: the song will become popular among the youth of America because a) it's Green Day, and radio station X say that we like them and b) with all of these people talking politics, moron, cookie-cutter pre/early-teens feel the need to get an opinion....Oh, here's one. And hell, all the other kids hate Bush, so it must be right. Right?

Hmm, maybe this songs got a little more depth than I thought...

Satire or Stupidity: Discuss.

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I just re-read my last post and realised that I accidentally didn't highlight a key word in the "secret message", which made it make much less sense. Whoops. Oh well, it's fixed now, so maybe give it another once over if you have the time. I thought it was a really good post, and expected some comments, but I didn't get any, and I'm hoping that it's just because I screwed up the wording / formatting.

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I'm going through another one of those busy spells. I have plenty to write about, but no time to write it in. At the moment, I'm resorting to taking time out of my work day, which I have no problem with, but the boss seems to get a little tetchy.

Expect more soon, my times gonna start freeing up...Hopefully.

[Sanctuary]

I need somewhere. Somewhere else. A home away from home where I can go to get away from the clamor of the real world and just be alone with my thoughts, with nature. Somewhere that there is no agenda, no judgment, and no expectation.

Take me away. Take me away to this place, this sanctuary, where I can while away the time in my mind and resurrect memories of time gone by. In this place all of the worlds worries and all of the stressors will melt from my body as I relax into the golden rays of the setting sun. And only here may I be allowed to rebalance my soul and repair my broken mind.

And when I return, I will once again be ready and able to combat all that life throws at me without breaking, snapping from the strains. I will be at one with myself, with the universe, and with the world. Nothing, no single challenge will become insumountable.

Please. Please let me go.

Please let me go there, away from this cyclic redundancy, this Escherien staircase. Now I only have to climb the stairs for another 3 weeks, but then what? Should I believe that all will right itself after I finish? Or will I have to start back at the bottom, forcing me to climb the same old stairs once again? Is it irrational to believe that the dream of sanctuary is all a fanciful lie?

You just don't understand...

None of you seem to get it. I am not imortal. I am human, just like everyone else. I need sleep. I need lots of sleep, lot's more than I get. And yet, you insist that I'm coping out by leaving only 1 hour past midnight. Me?? I'm the one letting everyone else down? Give me a break.

I can almost guaruntee that I work more hours than all of you. More early morning starts, more waking up at the crack of dawn to be fed and showered ready for the long day ahead. And this most always is 7 days a week. No weekend. No time to take a break and sit back. This is work. No, this is me working my ass off. And yet, I'm out, everynight that there's something going on, ready to go where ever the action is. Hell, half of the time I have to rally the troops myslef (though with some assistance). That's right, no dropping out to spend time with my other half, no slacking off because I had a really long day at work. I suck it up, because we're all only young once, and to me, that means that I have to make my damndest effort to spend as much time as possible with my freinds. And this almost always means that I'm getting in my car, driving people to and from home, and all sorts. All of which, might I remind you all, is on a rapidly declining number of hours of sleep.

This weekend I (and with 3 others) drove for 8 hours to Ottawa in torrential rain and hellish traffic to see a freind and party for less that a 12 hours. Was it worth it? Hell yes. Did he appreciate?? God damn right. Did we do something totally illogical just because it might have been the greatest night of the entire summer?? For damn sure. We put ourselves out to spend time with others who are important to us, and that is what summers should be about.

So what's the point of this rant? The point is, I'm really fuckin' tired, and I don't want you turnin' around being all "what's up with Pete, why's he so pissed and leaving early?", cause I've had a really long week, and it's not gonna end for another 21 days. So excuse me if I'm a little tetchy and a little on edge, but I'm trying to squeeze every second of sleep out of this day as is humanly god damn fucking possible. Ok?