"Brother's and Sister's...

...rebuild your lives, we're all just takers, give us something tonight..."
 
[Note:  This is an uber-delayed post.  Time has been getting the better of me, as ever.  It was started last week, but I didn't get around to finishing it until now.]

 

So, as some or all of you may have gathered, I've returned from England.  Before you ask, it was great.  Yes, I did.  No, unfortunately I didn't have time to.  Yes, these carrots are juicy.  No, I'm not especially glad to be back, other than to be able to see my friends.
 
The point here is, I made a stunning observation on my travels (mainly while musing sat around in various airports and on various plains).

 

Now, you must bear in mind that I haven't seen and of my friends in England for at least 2 years, some of them not for 3 or 4 years.  I had no idea what to expect of them or what they would be like.  Last time I saw them, they were all pretty different to me, but then I didn't really have much of a group of friends to compare them to.  So what was I to expect when I saw them again?  I sure as hell didn't know, but it definitely wasn't what I saw when I got there.

 

It turns out that most of my friends in England are, in fact..........Almost exactly the same as my friends here.  Sure, there are some obvious differences, but the basics are all the same.  There are the same group dramas, the same long term relationships, the same little rivalries and the same kinds of bonds between specific individuals.  They listen to the same kinds of music, they find the same kind of things funny, and they get up to the same kind of things.  They have the same kinds of problems, the same kinds of goals, and the same kinds of plans.

 

It's just the same.

 

And to me, this is a amazing.  The fact that thousands of miles of ocean separate them, living in totally different types of places (smallish, suburban town not particularly near to anything and Oakville, hoity-toity town next to the biggest city in Canada) and there are some wildly different cultural differences, all of these people have managed to develop into (relatively) balanced, healthy 18 and 19 year olds living similar types of lives. 

 

Life and the people in it never fails to amaze me.

Morning View...

I rolled around as the phone went off.  I must have taken at least two rings to remember what the strange noise meant, and the another one to remember where I was.  I bound out of bed and threw my legs into my jeans, doing up the belt as I ran through the door and towards the kitchen.  Unsurprisingly, the phone stopped ringing as I went to pick it up.  Awake and alert as I now was, I wandered back into the sitting room and crashed onto the couch, pulling a blanket over me in the process.

I gazed out through the open blinds, past the trees and across the lake, placed there specifically for my veiwing pleasure.  It was a beautiful day, no clouds, sun shining, lake a perfect crystal blue and as calm as any I've ever seen.  I decided that I need water, so I walked back to the kitchen and grabbed a glass.  I felt liberated walking around in just my jeans.  There was no need for a shirt, so I didn't wear one.  It was serene.

I wandered back to my couch and picked up the newspaper, skimming through some sections on property and business.  After a short while, I put down the paper, and decided to put on some music, nothing too loud, just nice and chill, something fitting of the scene.  I did a few push-ups looking out over the lake, for want of anything better to do.  Even something as mundane as that was made enjoyable by the view.

And that was how I spent my saturday morning.

Watch what you're saying, don't watch what you said...

[A Note From The Editor:  When I first wrote this, it was awful.  I don't know why.  The idea was spot on, but the words were all wrong.  I've re-written some of it and it seems to make a lot more sense to me, and hopefully, to you now.  If you read it before and got lost, or just didn't get it, read again and post comments.  Is it better?  Is it worse? Even if you didn't read the first itteration, does this one make sense?  My mojo seems a little off in writing lately, so any help getting me back on track would be much appreciated.]

 

Ok, so the point of my previous post was to illustrate an idea that I believe in very seriously.  It was introduced to me a long while ago as a quirky episode in a TV series (Red Dwarf, if you're curious).  The premise of the episode was that the main character's inner voices, if you will, were personified through some crazy quantum mistake.  That is to say, they were real, physical people, walking around and interacting with the world.
 
I want to explain this idea a little more clearly: the episode suggested that everyone has two aspects of their inner being, Confidence and Paranoia, a little like the idea of a devil and an angel sitting on your shoulders.  Confidence is the positive aspect of your self.  When you're in a good mood, when you're doing well in life, when you feel great, Confidence is 'there' to pat you on the back.  This aspect is always supportive, and always motivates you to always push yourslef towards greatness, always believing in you abilities.  No matter what's going on, it say's "you're the man", and "you can do it, slugger"....or something to that effect. 
 
Paranoia, conversley, is the negative aspect of your personality, your negative inner voice.  It will nitpick and find faults in everything you do.  If it can bring you down and make you feel insignificant, it will.  Paranoia will make you doubt everything you do, and tear away at every shread of hope, dignity and confidence that you have.
 
Most everyone can think of an example when one of these aspects has started to take control.  In or after an exam, for instance, or at a party.  However, they usually work in degrees, with neither taking full control.  That's what we call reason or balance.
 
However, sometimes, just sometimes, one or the other will take a hold of you, your every thought and action.  Oftentimes, this has very much to do with either a) intense alcohol consumption, or b) a sugar high or low.  If Confidence takes control, it's not a big deal.  So you're happy and confident, that's all good, right? Right.  But it's quite a different story when Paranoia takes control.  It can get to the point of complete, total and utter hopelessness.  You don't know what to do or where to go and just slip into an endless cravass of pure darkness, filled with self-loathing and angst.  This can be very, very dangerous.
 
So there it is, Confidence and Paranoia, the essence of your inner voice, as seen by me.  Think about it.

Wake up the dying, don't wake up the dead...

I see you're back then...
Uh, yeah, yeah I am.  Just got back in this afternoon actually.
Bout time, maybe you'll get around to updating this thing now, which you so willfully neglected.
I think that's a little harsh.
We'll, let's be honest, it wouldn't be the first time, would it you've just upped and left things behind.
What are you talking about?
I think you well know.
NO! I clearly don't.
Well what about...what's her name, that girl, you know the one I mean.
EXCUSE ME!!  That's a seriously low blow.  How dare you bring her into this, she's totally irrelevant.
I wonder what she would say about that...
That isn't what I meant, and you know it. 
Well she's just the start of a pretty long list and I think you know it.
Why are you even bringing this up??  I just came from a very long flight after a very good holiday, I don't need this shit right now!
You know me, always the devil on your shoulder, thorn in your side.  I take pleasure in seeing you suffer.
That's it, I'm outta here....
 
Hey bud, what's gettin you down?
You don't wanna know, trust me.
If I didn't want to know, would I have asked?
Good point.
So?  What is it?
OK, picture this, get home after an awsome time in England, and the first person I speak to, the first 'freind' just starts feedin' me a load of shit for no reason.  I don't need that, I just don't need that right now.
Woah, woah, sounds like you need to kick back and chill out.  Wanna cold one?
As ever, when you're right, you're very, very right.  Miller?
I think we've got a few.
Awsome.
Look, people like that don't matter, you're bigger than that, you just have to rise above, elevate yourself to a higher plain and don't let petty minded people bring you down.
I stand by my previous statement about you being right.
That's why I'm here.  Without guys like me, the whole world would come crashing down.
Thanks, man.  Wanna shoot some pool?
Do I ever. 

There's more to this story, I just ran out of time (I was writing in the Heathrow departure lounge and the plain was boarding).

This is a public service announcement...

For those who don't know, I am currently on vacation in the motherland, that being England. I've been here for a week so a far, and am staying for another. I had been planning to post a few things here and there on my trip, but a combination of me being lazy and time being short has kept me from doing this.

Having said, I suddenly feel inclined to write something, despite it being 1:15am local time, and me having a very long day ahead of me. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.